


Christmas 1979

by nightswatch



Series: A Series of Christmases [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, First War with Voldemort, M/M, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 07:06:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5575921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightswatch/pseuds/nightswatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas Eve, Lily has big news, and Sirius has an important question to ask.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas 1979

Remus wants to sleep for a day. On second thought, a day might not be enough. Two days, at least. But if he slept fort wo days, he’d miss Christmas and there are several people who wouldn’t forgive him for missing Christmas.

He might still fall asleep during the Order’s little Christmas get-together tonight, but he certainly won’t be the only one. He spent all night perched behind a hedge with Marlene McKinnon, waiting for some secret meeting that one of Dumbledore’s informants had got wind of. Either they were in the wrong place, or said meeting never happened. Now Remus is frozen stiff, despite the heating charms they kept casting, his clothes are uncomfortably damp, and he’s exhausted. Hence the wish to sleep for a day. At least.

Remus drags himself down Diagon Alley – it’s early, the sun is just now starting to come up, so the shops are still closed. He’s all alone; no one is leaving for work just yet. He’s renting a tiny flat above Ollivander’s. He’s not charging Remus nearly as much for rent as he should in a prime spot like this, even if the flat doesn’t even deserve to be called that. If Sirius’ flat is a shithole, his flat is the king of shitholes.

Anyway, Remus suspects that Dumbledore has convinced Mr. Ollivander to let him move into the attic flat. Remus is working for the Order full time now, he’s more useful like this than he could be in any office job that he’d get fired from a few months later anyway. For some reason, his vault at Gringotts still isn’t empty, even though Remus is very well aware that it should be. It’s not Dumbledore who’s paying him, Remus knows, so it has to be Sirius or James.

To be honest, Remus is sure that it’s James who is constantly slipping him money. He inherited all his parents’ money when they died – when they were killed – a few months ago. They shouldn’t have to deal with these things. Not yet. Remus is nineteen, there shouldn’t be so many dead people in his life already. He pushes the thought away. It’s too early for thoughts like that. He’s too tired for thoughts like that, too.

Remus goes in through the backdoor and makes his way up the steps, slowly, wondering if it is possible to fall asleep while walking. He is yearning for his bed, as uncomfortable as it is.

All his hopes and dreams quickly go up in a puff of smoke when he reaches the bottom of the last flight of stairs. Lily is sitting at the top, in front of his apartment door, face buried in her hands.

Remus freezes. “Lily,” he says, trying very hard to keep the panic out of his voice. No more dead people, not today, please, please, _please_.

Lily looks up, her eyes wide and red-rimmed.

“What happened?” Remus asks. He knows that James has been off taking care of another one of Dumbledore’s missions last night. “Is James–”

“No,” Lily interrupts quickly. “ _No_. It’s nothing like that. Everyone’s fine.”

“Everyone?”

“Everyone except for me,” Lily says, smiling wryly. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t know where else to go and you’re…” She takes a deep breath, now looking even more like she’s about to burst into tears. “You were out all night, weren’t you?”

Remus shakes his head, even though it’s true. If he tells Lily that he wants nothing more than to sleep for a century, she’ll leave because she’s considerate like that, but he can’t send her away now. “What’s wrong?”

Lily opens her mouth, but not a word comes out.

“Tea?” Remus asks. He walks up the rest of the steps and pulls Lily to her feet. She’s never been here before and Remus tries not to be self-conscious about the state of his flat. “It’s not much,” he mumbles as he unlocks the door and lets Lily inside.

She waves her hand dismissively and marches inside. Remus takes Lily’s coat and hangs it up together with his own.

“I’ll go back home in a bit, I promise,” Lily says. She sinks into one of his two kitchen chairs. “You must be so tired, are you sure this is okay?”

“It’s no problem at all,” Remus says and puts on the kettle. “Breakfast?”

Lily shakes her head. Her fingers are tapping on the table, restless, but a small smile flits across her face when Remus hands her a cup of tea.

Remus sits down across from her, his fingers curled around his own cup.

“I should probably just tell you,” Lily says, like she still has to convince herself that this is a good idea. Remus won’t lie, he’s curious. “It’ll make things easier,” she goes on. “And you’re used to me complaining about James. You’re very good at listening to me complaining about James. Which is why I’m here.”

It’s true, Lily has complained about James quite a lot when they were still at Hogwarts, especially before she started going out with him. And Remus listened, and tried to remain impartial, and sometimes she listened to him as well when she found him sulking in the library.

“What did he do?” Remus asks. He must have behaved like a tosspot, obviously, but it’s a bit of an accomplishment this early in the morning, even for James.

“He came home, caked in mud, as he does so often these days, really, where is Dumbledore sending you? Where is all that mud coming from?”

“Honestly, I think you might just be a lot better at staying away from mud than he is,” Remus mutters.

“That’s an excellent point,” Lily said. She’s stopped drumming her fingers on the table. Her face looks even paler than usual and Remus starts to wonder if he should be more worried. “Right, where was I? So, he came home and I was already awake, because I was awake all night, waiting for him to get home. And I said, ‘James, I need to talk to you, it’s important,’ and he had the audacity to ask me if I could make him breakfast. I would have made him breakfast and I would have sat him down and I would have explained everything very slowly, but I was pissed off because he kept talking about eggs and bacon, so I just said, ‘I’m pregnant,’ and that was that.”

Remus nearly drops his cup. “You’re…”

“Yes,” Lily says. Her knuckles are white. She takes a sip of tea. “I don’t know what to do.”

Quite frankly, Remus doesn’t know either. But now is not a good time for him to not know. “What did James say?”

“He didn’t say anything, he just stared at me like I told him that our lives are over, which they probably are, if we’re being honest. He’s not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. How is anyone ever ready for this? We’re in the middle of a war. People are dying. I can’t _do this_.”

“Lily,” Remus says and reaches out, gently squeezing her hand. “Take a deep breath.” He feels like she needs reminding that breathing might help. At least a little bit. Remus can’t really imagine what she feels like right now.

“Take a deep breath?” Lily echoes. “That’s it?”

“Look, you’re not alone in this,” Remus says. “You don’t have to do this all by yourself.”

“Oh,” Lily says, “I haven’t told you what happened when James was done staring dumbly. He walked back outside. Said he needed some air. That was _all_ he said.”

“And then?”

“Then I came here.”

“You just left?”

“ _He_ just left,” Lily says testily. “I have no idea where he went, but I have a feeling that he’s not too keen on coming back.”

Remus wonders if he should tell her that James was talking about asking her to marry him not too long ago. Granted, he was incredibly drunk when he mentioned it and Sirius laughed himself silly. A lot of people are getting married these days. Remus is sure that it’s a side-effect of the war. Not that he doubts that James sincerely loves Lily, he obviously does. “He just freaked out,” Remus says. “Give him a bit to wrap his head around it.”

“What if he doesn’t, you know, what if doesn’t want to…” Lily shakes her head. “I mean, he wouldn’t. I know he wouldn’t just leave me alone with this.”

“He wouldn’t,” Remus says. “He won’t.”

“I don’t even know if I like children,” Lily whispers. She tilts her head, thinking. “They’re sort of adorable, most of the time. But what if it turns out that I hate children?”

“Then you can always give the kid to Sirius, he loves children.” Remus isn’t sure if it’s a good idea to try to make light of the situation, but he’s out of options otherwise.

“He doesn’t love children. He thinks they’re _funny_. He’d probably forget that they can’t make their own dinner.” Lily blows a strand of hair out of her face. “James is probably with him right now, you know? And Sirius is probably telling him to make a run for it while he can.”

“He’s not,” Remus says. Sirius is probably, once again, laughing himself silly. And pouring James gracious amounts of whatever alcoholic beverage is within reach.

“Well, I suppose you know him better than I do,” Lily says, fixing him with a knowing look.

Remus holds her gaze, even though he feels himself shrinking under it. Lily knows about them, James knows about them, Peter most likely knows about them as well, even though Remus and Sirius still haven’t said a word to them about the exact nature of their relationship. They’re still waiting for the right moment, except that the right moment has already come and gone and at this point Remus is sure that everyone has seen right through them anyway.

In truth, he’s scared, and Sirius is scared, and neither of them can bring himself to say it out loud for some reason. Remus feels like they’re drifting apart sometimes, but then Sirius sneaks up on him and sticks his cold hands down Remus’ shirt and hides his clothes so he can’t leave in the morning and makes fun of his jumpers before he steals them and then Remus realises that they’re still the same people, it’s just that the reality of their situation is starting to sink in. Remus is in love with Sirius, he’s in love with him, and they’re in the middle of a war and he’s not sure if he’s ever going to say this out loud either, even though there’s only one person he needs to tell.

Sometimes Remus thinks it would be easier to walk the other way. But he doesn’t want to be the kind of person who chooses the easy way.

“I should head home,” Lily mumbles, “and go to bed. And maybe later, if James ever decides to come back, I’ll murder him. We’ll see.” She finishes her tea and slowly stands up. “I’ll see you tonight. Thank you, Remus. Make sure you get some sleep.”

“Maybe you should talk to Molly,” Remus suggests as he takes her to the door, which is actually only a few steps away from his kitchen table. He makes an attempt at helping her into her coat, but she unceremoniously snatches it from him. “She’ll probably be more helpful than I was.” She has five children already, a sixth on the way, Molly certainly knows more about this than Remus does.

“You were helpful,” Lily says. “Really, thank you.”

Remus smiles at her. “Is it too early offer my services as a terrible babysitter?”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Lily says and gives him a hug.

He waits until he can’t hear Lily’s footsteps on the stairs anymore, then he sighs, quietly says goodbye to his bed, and reaches for his coat. The shop owners along Diagon Alley are now starting to open their doors, but Remus doesn’t spare them a second glance. He’s not entirely sure if should get involved in this, but he can’t just go to bed and pretend that he has no idea what’s going on.

Remus apparates to the end of Sirius’ street – he’s recently figured out that that’s the closest he can go. Today he rings the doorbell, because it makes the most unbearable sound and he’s feeling impatient, which likely has a lot to do with how sleep-deprived he is.

Sirius opens the door for him, barefoot, wearing the tightest pair of trousers he owns and a shirt that’s inside out. “Moony,” he says, his voice loud enough for everyone in a one-mile radius to hear. “What’s up?”

“Is James here?”

“Well, yes, but he’s…” Sirius looks over his shoulder, then he shrugs, “indisposed, I guess.”

“Lily came to see me,” Remus says. “And I haven’t slept all night.”

“Well, bugger,” Sirius says and steps aside to let him in. “He’s in the kitchen.”

Remus does indeed find James in the kitchen, together with what Sirius considers breakfast, instant coffee and a piece of stale bread with jam. The entire kitchen has descended back into chaos since Remus’ last visit.

James looks up when he enters. “Moony,” he says. He doesn’t seem to be surprised to see him. “You know?”

“I do,” Remus says. “Care to explain why you just left?” He tries not to sound offended on Lily’s behalf, because technically this isn’t any of his business, but he fails spectacularly.

“You told me _she_ left,” Sirius says, eyes narrowed. “Prongs, you tosser, did you seriously just leave?”

“No, I didn’t, I just went outside _for a second_ ,” James says, looking rather offended now as well. “When I got back inside, she was gone.”

“Did you forget to mention that you’d only be outside for a second by any chance?” Remus asks dryly.

“Merlin’s pants, Prongs,” Sirius says. “How did you fuck up so tremendously?”

“I don’t know, I panicked.”

“Understandable,” Sirius says and hits James over the back of his head, “but totally uncalled for.”

James stands up so abruptly that Sirius jumps a little. “I have to go.” James smiles at them, looking somewhat befuddled. “I’m going to be a dad.” He makes a face. “I’m going to fuck it all up, aren’t I? I already did. What if she hates me? She must hate me so much right now.”

“You deserve it, mate,” Sirius says cheerfully and gives James a pat on the back.

“I’m leaving,” James says. He looks terrified.

“It’ll be all right,” Remus tells him in an attempt to be more supportive than Sirius, who is smirking and very obviously enjoying himself a little too much.

James’ smile is still wobbly when he grabs a handful of floo powder and crouches into the fireplace. “Wish me luck.” He laughs. “Me, a dad. Can you imagine?”

He’s gone before either Sirius or Remus can answer.

“Is he actually excited about this?” Sirius shakes his head. “Honestly, this is so…”

“Yeah,” Remus says. He tries to suppress a yawn. Now that this is taken care of, he can finally go to bed.

“Everything’s going to change,” Sirius says. “He’s going to ask her to marry him for sure now.”

“Well, we knew that was going to happen.”

“I thought he was joking,” Sirius mutters. He bites his lip. “Actually, no. I was _hoping_ that he was joking.”

“Don’t be over-dramatic.”

“We’ll never see him again,” Sirius says and clutches his heart. “I’ll miss him dearly.” He groans, his eyes going wide. “Man, I guess he’ll move out, won’t he?”

“Either that or he’ll ask Lily to move in,” Remus says, his lips twitching.

“It’s the end of the world, Moony,” Sirius says gravely.

Remus simply rolls his eyes at him.

“If James moves out, you have to–”

Remus interrupts him with a loud yawn. “Sorry,” he mutters. “I think I did mention that I didn’t sleep all night?”

“I’ve told you before, Dumbledore doesn’t care about our sleep schedules,” Sirius grumbles and wraps an arm around his waist. “Wanna take a nap?”

“I don’t think a nap will do,” Remus says. He leans against Sirius, whose hand is idly wandering up and down his spine. “Better go home before I fall asleep right where I’m standing.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Sirius ruffles his hair. “My bed is your bed and all that.”

Remus is much too tired to protest. “You don’t mind?” he asks because he thinks he should at least try to be polite, then he remembers that he sleeps in Sirius’ bed at least twice a week and that there’s no reason for him to pretend that he doesn’t want to be a nuisance. Sirius _likes_ having him here, even though he never says it, he keeps finding reasons to make Remus stay the night. He smiles at the thought and kisses the top of Sirius’ head.

Sirius huffs. “’Course I don’t. I’ll wake you up in time for the party.”

“Quite frankly, I won’t be disappointed if you let me sleep right through it,” Remus mutters and trudges off, up the stairs, and to Sirius’ bed room.

Sirius follows him, to tuck him in, he says. “Eventful night?” he asks.

They’re not supposed to talk about their missions, Sirius knows that as well as Remus does, so they try to keep it vague, knowing that even by doing that they’re revealing too much information. Remus shrugs and shucks off his trousers and his jumper, and climbs into bed. He doesn’t nick one of Sirius’ shirts to sleep in like he usually does. “Not as eventful as we’d hoped.”

Sirius, like he promised, pulls the covers over him and then sits down on the other side of the bed, staring down at him. “Who were you out with?”

“You know I can’t tell you that,” Remus says.

“But it’s just _me_.” Sirius grins at him. “You know, I need to know my competition, I need to know who I’m up against.”

Remus turns over to lie on his side. “You’re not making any sense.”

“It makes perfect sense, actually,” Sirius says and gives him a poke. “You’re young and impressionable and you’re out there all night, doing Merlin knows what, who knows how quickly I’ll be replaced.”

“I’m too tired to have this conversation,” Remus says flatly.

“Forgive me, but it’s a very real concern.” Sirius’ fingers find their way into Remus’ hair. “Unless you’re off on missions with Moody.” He tilts his head. “But it’s not Moody, is it?”

“It’s not,” Remus says. All he wants to do is sleep. Maybe he should just close his eyes, but he rather enjoys looking at Sirius, so he’s faced with quite the dilemma. He can’t say that he’s not flattered by Sirius making such a fuss about this, even though he’s trying to play it off as a joke.

“Who is it, then?”

“Not telling you.”

“I’ll do whatever you want,” Sirius says and winks suggestively. “ _Anything_ you want.”

“I want to sleep,” Remus mutters.

“Why aren’t you telling me? It must be someone extraordinarily beautiful and talented. It’s okay if you want to ride off into the sunset with someone else, Moony, I’ll forgive you.” Sirius leans closer, studying his face.

Remus makes an effort to look perfectly innocent in an attempt not to give anything away.

Sirius’ face falls. “It’s McKinnon.”

“How did you know?” Remus asks, suddenly feeling wide awake again. He considers the possibility that Sirius has recently become a mind reader.

“Because you weren’t denying it. She’s the most talented person we know.” Sirius scoffs. “I can’t compete with _her_.”

“I have good news for you,” Remus says and scoots closer to Sirius, “you don’t have to.”

“Ah, Moony, I fear I have to challenge her to a duel to truly earn your affections,” Sirius whispers.

Remus pushes at him half-heartedly.

“What are you doing?”

“Pushing you out of bed,” Remus mutters. “So you’ll shut the hell up.”

“You really are knackered, huh?”

“I didn’t sleep _all night_ ,” Remus says very slowly. “So, yes, I am.”

Sirius hums and keeps running his fingers through Remus’ hair. Remus waits a moment and realises that Sirius is done talking, so he allows himself to finally close his eyes. He drifts off to sleep quickly, no tossing and turning today. He should stay up all night more often.

He hears Sirius whisper, “Sleep well,” but in the end he’s not sure if he’s imagined it. He has strange dreams and he couldn’t put his finger on what they’re about, but even in his dream he feels like someone is following him, watching his every move. He’s not safe, nobody is.

Remus wakes up with a start. There’s an arms wrapped around him tightly and Sirius’ breath is tickling the back of his neck. The old Muggle alarm clock on the bedside table tells Remus that it’s almost noon. He certainly deserves a few more hours of sleep, but at first he needs to will his heart to slow down.

Taking a deep breath, Remus carefully turns over so he’s facing Sirius. He pulls him against his chest and Sirius mumbles something in his sleep. Remus tells himself to stop thinking; he can’t think himself out of this war and he can’t change anything by worrying day and night. He closes his eyes and concentrates on his breathing, and on Sirius’ breathing, slow and even.

When he wakes up again, Sirius isn’t there. Remus sits up and looks around the room. The light is different than earlier, like it’s starting to get dark. Sirius’ side of the bed is cold.

Remus crawls out of bed and pulls on the clothes he dumped on the floor earlier. They’re still uncomfortably damp. Remus winces and pulls them on anyway. He’ll head home and take a nice hot shower and then Sirius will come by to drag him to that Christmas party at the Prewetts’.

As he walks down the stairs, Remus can hear voices in the kitchen – Sirius and James, joking around and laughing. Remus smiles to himself. So Lily hasn’t murdered James after all.

Remus leans in the doorway and waves at the two of them.

“Moony,” Sirius says before James can even open his mouth, “I’m going to be a godfather.”

“Lily doesn’t hate you, then?” Remus asks James.

“Nah, just a bit,” James says. He smiles broadly. “We’re getting married. Soon. You have to be my best man,” he points at Sirius, “and you,” he says to Remus, “and Peter as well. Can I have three best men?”

“It’s your wedding, mate,” Sirius says with a shrug.

“ _My wedding_. I asked her to marry me and she said yes, can you believe it?”

“Actually,” Sirius says, “no.”

“It’s a Christmas miracle,” Remus throws in.

“I don’t think I want you to be my best men anymore.”

“Aw, Prongsie,” Sirius coos at him, “are we too immature for you? We get it, you’re all grown up now, getting married and being a dad soon, there’s no time for,” Sirius makes a face, “ _fun_.”

“I think a certain level of maturity will be expected of you as well,” Remus says, “future godfather.”

“I can’t believe you’re dragging me into this nightmare of responsibility with you,” Sirius says to James and kicks him under the table.

Before James has time to retaliate, Remus clears his throat. “I’ll head home, I’ll see you two later.”

Remus knows that he still has to write up a report for Dumbledore, something like, _we were crouching behind a hedge for hours and nothing happened_. When he gets home fifteen minutes later, he makes tea, the quick way, with his want, and then hops into the shower.

He’s halfway through his third cup of tea when there’s a knock on the door. He tries not to expect the worst, but people don’t usually drop by and that’s the second time today that he sees himself confronted with an unexpected visitor.

Before he even makes it to the door, Sirius calls, “It’s me.”

Remus relaxes and opens the door for him. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought you’d be much happier to see me,” Sirius says, shaking his head at him. He’s wearing a Christmas jumper under his leather jacket.

“I’m _surprised_ to see you,” Remus says. His flat seems twice as small with Sirius in it as well.

“Right…” Sirius sinks down on Remus’ bed since he doesn’t have a couch. “James went back to Lily’s and I was bored and I felt like I should tell you that James asked why you were still at our place earlier.”

“Oh,” Remus says. “Did you…”

Sirius shakes his head. “I told him you fell asleep on the couch and I couldn’t just leave you there, our poor little Moony, who never gets enough sleep. Just thought we should get our stories straight. I mean, he didn’t look like he believed me, but…”

“It wasn’t the right time,” Remus says. He sits down next to Sirius.

“No, it wasn’t,” Sirius agrees. “He’s had enough excitement for a day.” He leans his head against Remus’ shoulder. “He’s actually going to move in with her.”

“They’re getting married, I assume that’s what you do.”

“Yeah,” Sirius says. “Moony…”

“Hm?”

Sirius breathes in, and out, and doesn’t say anything.

“So,” Remus says, “you’re going to be a godfather.”

“Undoubtedly not Lily’s decision,” Sirius says. “You’ll definitely get to be the godfather of the next one.”

“The next one?”

“They’ll probably have,” Sirius hums, “at least five.”

Remus snorts. He can certainly imagine it.

“And then there’s also the wedding,” Sirius says very slowly.

“You’re already planning the stag night, aren’t you?”

“Of course,” Sirius says, “it’s our duty as best men to make it as memorable as we possibly can. It’s going to be _amazing_.” He gives Remus a nudge. “That’s not what I was getting at, though. About the wedding.”

“What about the wedding?”

“Are you going with me? To the wedding. I mean, everyone will think that we’re losers who came without dates, but we’ll know that we didn’t.”

“As long as you don’t pull me into a broom cupboard and make me miss the ceremony,” Remus says.

“I can’t promise you that,” Sirius whispers and pushes him over. The bed isn’t big enough for both of them next to each other, but Sirius seems to be more comfortable right on top of him anyway and Remus doesn’t even think of complaining.

Not until he realises that Sirius has been kissing him for a long time and remembers that they actually have somewhere to be. “What time is it?”

Sirius pulls at the hem of Remus’ jumper. “Time to take this off?”

Remus pushes him off, towards the wall, so he won’t fall off the bed, and reaches for his wristwatch that’s lying on the windowsill. “We’re going to be late,” Remus says. They should have left a while ago, but Sirius didn’t seem too keen on leaving. He still doesn’t.

“How late?” Sirius asks.

“That depends on how quickly you manage to get your hands out from under my jumper,” Remus says dryly.

“Very late, then,” Sirius says cheerfully.

Remus gives him a kiss to distract him, then he pulls away and hops out of bed. Sirius whines and hugs one of Remus’ pillows to his chest. He pouts while Remus pulls on his coat and scarf and hat. “I’m going to leave without you,” Remus says. He grabs Sirius’ jacket and throws it at him.

Sirius grumbles something from under the jacket. “It’s just…”

“What?” Remus asks.

“It’s gonna sound silly.”

Leaning against the wall, Remus laughs. “You always sound silly.”

“Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas this year,” Sirius says. He reappears from under the jacket, his hair dishevelled. “You know, with all that’s been happening… And I’m not talking about what happened _today_ , specifically. Just, everything. We knew it would get much worse, but… I don’t know.” He gets up and puts on his jacket and joins Remus by the door. “Well, as I said, it’s silly.”

“It’s not silly,” Remus says. It’s one of the least silly things he’s ever heard. He wants to hug Sirius, but he feels like he’d pull away if he tried. Not the right time.

Sirius doesn’t look at him, he just opens the door and steps outside. Remus follows him, not sure what to say. Actually, he’s not sure if he should say anything at all. They apparate to the small town that Fabian and Gideon live in – it’s a wizarding village, so they don’t need to worry about being seen. Remus tried to find a job here once. He tries not to think about it.

“It’s down the street there, right?” Remus asks. He knows that it is, but the silence is starting to make him antsy.

Sirius nods and takes him by the hand and suddenly the silence isn’t so unbearable anymore.

As it turns out, they’re not the only ones who are late to the party, however, that hasn’t kept any of the people already present from getting drunk. Gideon and Fabian seem to have started especially early. Remus starts with a butterbeer while Sirius is roped into a conversation with Arthur Weasley. He also spots Molly who’s scolding her son Bill for giving his brother butterbeer. Little Percy seems to be doing just fine, though. He’s curled up on an armchair, fast asleep.

Remus is hovering by the makeshift buffet in the back of the living room when Marlene McKinnon sneaks up on him, elbowing him in the ribs so hard that he nearly chokes on his sandwich.

“Lupin,” she says, smirking at him, “haven’t seen you in a while. How are things?”

“Oh, you know, taking care of business for Dumbledore, not sleeping all night, nearly freezing to death. The usual.”

Marlene nods and picks up a strange-looking appetizer that Remus wasn’t brave enough to try. “The usual,” she echoes. She leans closer. “Between us, I nearly missed the party, because I slept all day.”

Remus laughs. “I probably wouldn’t be here if Sirius hadn’t come by earlier.”

“Sirius, hm,” Marlene says, her eyes flicking over to him. “Do you think Dumbledore’s going to show up?”

“I highly doubt it,” Remus mutters. There must be students staying at Hogwarts over the holidays, it’s not like he can easily get away. He tries to remember if Dumbledore was there for every dinner when he spent the holidays at school, but he can’t remember. It all seems like it happened a lifetime ago. Every once in a while he thinks about all the things he’d give to be back at Hogwarts just for one more day.

Anyway, it’s maybe half the Order that’s here right now. Remus still hasn’t spotted Peter – he hoped that he might get to talk to him since they haven’t seen each other recently, but it seems that he’s busy tonight.  

“Are you headed home for Christmas?” Marlene asks.

Remus’ eyes dart back to Sirius, who’s very casually leaning against a wall. “Probably not.” He might drop by his parents’ house tomorrow, but by now the Death Eaters will have figured out that he’s with the Order and if he keeps away from his family, he hopes, they won’t become a target.

Sirius notices him looking and comes wandering over. He nods at Marlene. “Fancy seeing you here, McKinnon.” He stands next to Remus, so close that their shoulders are brushing.

“Likewise, Black,” Marlene says, her smile growing broader. “Remus and I were just catching up.” She winks at him.

Remus doesn’t want to know if he’s blushing, but it certainly feels like he is.

Sirius grunts and folds his arms across his chest. “Lovely,” he says. It sounds weirdly strained.

“Well, I should go find Caradoc,” Marlene says. She gives Remus’ arm a squeeze, her eyes on Sirius. She looks like she’s enjoying herself immensely. “You two enjoy the party. Remus, I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”

Sirius scoffs at her as soon as she’s out of earshot. “Oh, _Remus, I’m sure I’ll see you soon_.”

“You’re acting very strangely,” Remus says lowly.

“She’s just…” Sirius waves his hand. “Why do you like her so much?”

“She’s nice.”

Sirius wrinkles his nose. “She’s scary.”

“Didn’t you want to go out with her a couple of years ago?” Remus asks. “I think I remember you saying that she’s–”

“Yes, I remember what I said, thank you,” Sirius says gruffly.

Remus laughs. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“No,” Sirius says, but his response comes slightly delayed. “Me, no, never.”

“Right,” Remus mumbles. He looks around, sees that no one is paying any attention to them and puts his hand on the small of Sirius’ back. Sirius shifts his weight, keeping a pretty impressive poker face when Remus lets his hand glide further down and under Sirius’ jumper. He trails his fingers along the hem of his jeans and Sirius squirms. “If you were jealous…” Remus waits for Sirius to deny it again, but he doesn’t. “Well, as I said earlier, there’s really no need.”

Sirius makes a frustrated little noise. “You’re an awful tease.”

Remus grins and takes another sandwich.

“Why do you look so happy?” Lily asks when she finds them a few minutes later.

“I’m gonna go find James,” Sirius mutters. He looks like he wants to stick his tongue out at Remus, but eventually just swaggers off.

Lily raises her eyebrows at Remus.

“He’s…” Remus really wants to tell Lily the truth. He sighs. “Never mind. I hear you and James figured things out.”

“We did,” Lily says and Remus is sure that there’s no happier person in this room tonight. “I’m sorry that I ambushed you this morning, I suppose I was overreacting. No, actually, I wasn’t. It was a pretty good reason to panic.”

“I agree,” Remus says.

“We might move to Godric’s Hollow,” Lily says. She picks up a small pastry and studies it intently. “It’s not really decided yet, obviously. He fell asleep while we were discussing wedding plans. Can’t really blame him, he didn’t get any sleep last night.”

“Apparently I get to be the best man. Or, well, one of the best men, I should say” Remus says.

“Good.” Lily pats him on the back. “I would have made you a bridesmaid, but I have a feeling that you would have said no to that anyway.”

“Please, I would look absolutely dashing in a dress.”

When James comes up to them a while later and only shrugs when Remus asks him where Sirius went, he excuses himself and starts looking around for the unmistakable Christmas jumper and leather jacket combo. He’s not in the living room and not in the kitchen where Bill and Charlie Weasley are chasing around an escaped chocolate frog.

It appears that Sirius is nowhere in the house, so Remus checks outside, where he finds Sirius sitting on a half-overgrown bench. He’s smoking, his lips twitching into a smile when he spots Remus.

“Pads,” Remus says and sits down next to him. It’s cold, so he pulls the sleeves of his jumper over his hands. He wants to ask Sirius if he’s hiding, but the question is superfluous. “Christmas still isn’t feeling like Christmas, huh?”

“Shocking, isn’t it? I’m even wearing the jumper and everything. It _should_ feel like Christmas.” Sirius stubs out his cigarette. “Can I ask you something? And don’t say _you already did_.”

“Of course,” Remus says.

“James is moving out. I mean, he’s been spending so much time at Lily’s, he was barely living with me anymore anyway. But still. He’s moving out _officially_.”

It’s not a question, but Remus has a feeling that they’ll get there if he’s a little patient. He thinks he already knows what Sirius wants to ask, but he doesn’t want to be presumptuous. “You said that earlier.”

“Do I really need to spell it out?” Sirius asks.

“Please do,” Remus replies.

“You should move in.”

Remus sighs.

“Why not?” Sirius asks.

“I didn’t say no.”

“No, you did that thing you always do when you think I have a really bad idea.” Sirius pulls another cigarette out of his pocket, but he doesn’t light it. “What I’m saying is, you didn’t say yes either.”

“Maybe I was going to,” Remus mutters.

“No, I’m pretty sure that you were about to give me a list from here to London with reasons why you can’t move in with me.” He leans in close and kisses the corner of Remus’ mouth. “You like my flat. Because it has me in it. Most of the time.”

“Don’t you think we’d end up annoying each other?”

“We lived in the same dormitory for seven years, I’m sure you haven’t forgotten. Which means that you’re just grasping for reasons now.”

“Fine,” Remus says. He ran out of reasons a long time ago. He had a chance for the easy way out and he passed it. He’s okay with that. It’s one of those adult decisions that wasn’t all that hard to make in the end. It’s one of those adult things that he thinks he might actually enjoy.

“Fine?” Sirius repeats. “Fine as in yes you’re going to move in?”

Remus nods. “ _Fine_.”

Sirius smiles at him. “It feels a bit like Christmas now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so the plan is to do one more (Christmas 1980), but I'd be willing to do more if anyone has requests for a specific year.


End file.
